Clarifying Stakeholder Messaging for the Arizona ESA Program

Client Type: Public Sector – Education

Project Type: Strategic Communications Rewrite (Proactive / Unofficial Submission)

As a communications professional and a parent stakeholder in Arizona’s Empowerment Scholarship Account (ESA) program, I regularly engage with education-related policy updates and public announcements. In April 2025, the Arizona Department of Education issued a communication to parents regarding proposed changes to the ESA Parent Handbook. The email asked parents to pause feedback and avoid attending the upcoming board meeting, as the revisions were being postponed.

The Challenge

While the original message was meant to inform and de-escalate, it unintentionally conveyed a tone that many parent stakeholders perceived as dismissive. Language such as “this message is particularly directed to ESA users who have been in disagreement” and “we respectfully request that those who have signed up to speak… not come to the meeting” created a divide between the department and the community it serves.

I recognized the opportunity to revise the message in a way that preserved the facts while improving tone, transparency, and trust.

What I Did

• My goal was to reframe the message with:

  • Empathetic tone and inclusive language

  • Respect for parent time and engagement

  • Clear explanation of next steps and timeline

  • Transparency about the collaborative process with lawmakers

  I rewrote the message in full, emphasizing shared goals and appreciation for community input, shifting from directive to collaborative language.

Full Message Comparison

Original Message:

To ESA Parents,
This email is particularly directed to ESA users who have been in disagreement with the proposed handbook:
We received some concern from state legislators. We therefore agreed to postpone the vote on the handbook until the June meeting to give us a chance to sit down with the legislators and hopefully reach mutually acceptable agreements.
We therefore respectfully request that those who have signed up to speak on this issue wait until the June meeting and not come to the meeting next Monday. The handbook will not be on the agenda, and once agreement is reached with legislators, any objections you have might be solved. It is best to come to the meeting when you know what the final proposal will be in June.

Thank you,
State Superintendent
Tom Horne

Revised Version (My Rewrite):

Dear Parent Stakeholders,

Thank you for the outpouring of thoughtful feedback regarding the proposed changes to the ESA Parent Handbook for the 2024–2025 contract year.

Arizona legislators have been actively engaging with parent stakeholders and have taken your concerns to heart. In response, the Arizona Department of Education, in collaboration with ESA department leadership, has agreed to work alongside lawmakers to ensure that the updated handbook aligns both with Arizona statutes and the core values of the ESA program.

This collaborative process will take time, and we are committed to giving it the thoughtful attention it deserves. In the meantime, we kindly ask that parent stakeholders pause any additional feedback submissions to the Arizona State Board of Education until June. Please note that the upcoming Board meeting on Monday, April 28, 2025, will no longer include the handbook revisions on the agenda.

To respect your time—and that of the Board—we encourage you to mark your calendars for the next meeting in June (date to be announced shortly). By then, we will share a revised draft of the handbook, allowing ample time for your review and input prior to the meeting. We are working diligently to incorporate your feedback and aim to address the majority of concerns in our ongoing sessions with legislators.

We are deeply grateful for your commitment, passion, and advocacy—not only for your children but for the ESA program as a whole. Your voices have been heard, and your involvement continues to make a meaningful impact.

Should you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Our team is here to support you.

With sincere gratitude,
Superintendent

How It Impacted

This unsolicited rewrite was shared publicly as a case study among ESA parent stakeholders and communications peers to model what stakeholder-centered messaging can—and should—look like. It immediately struck a chord with the community.

Multiple ESA parents responded directly to the revision, validating the tone, clarity, and empathy it offered. One parent commented, “You absolutely nailed it… They are incapable of clear and concise messaging.” Another said, “It’s brilliant—I hope they see it. They could’ve capitalized on the opportunity to look like the good guy.”

And the most telling response: “You’re hired! Oh wait…”

The project now serves as a portfolio piece that demonstrates how personal experience, professional strategy, and thoughtful language can intersect to influence high-stakes communication for the better.